Global Lifestyle Consultant & Inner Circle G.M.
Real Social Dynamics
This article is for the guys who are in an intermediate or advanced phase and are looking to take their retention with girls to the next level. It’s for those guys who can pick up a girl but have problems keeping her. This is taken from all the good things I’ve done, and also all the mistakes that I’ve personally learnt from. Take this information and apply it to your first real moments with a girl, when you talk to her on the phone, or before your first date. These techniques are designed to create an actual “relationship” between you and your lady friend. In fact they can also be used with girls that you have a romantic interest in, but also girls that are just friends. Nothing I’m talking about here is manipulative, it’s a solid foundation to base a short dating, or long term boyfriend and girlfriend relationship on.
Rule #1 – Bonnie and Clyde
Rule number 1 is all about getting a girl on your team. And creating a me and you against the world feeling about your relationship with her. This kind of relationship frame exists in lots of boyfriend and girlfriend couples. We have all seen it, where our buddy gets a girlfriend and all of a sudden he can’t relate to his old guy friends anymore. His girlfriend becomes his world. To bring a girl into your world, you have to share your hopes, dreams, goals, and fears. When something happens in your life, share it with her as an ear of comfort. Let her know how you are dealing with situations in your life. You will never run out of things to say, and it will make an empathetic connection between the two of you. You want you and her to relate to each other, not as a guy and a girl who randomly met on the street, but as two people who see each other as real human beings. Friends will be jealous.
Rule #2. Teach her how to benefit herself.
This is referring to the old saying “leave a girl better then you found her.” You, being a guy who is studying personal development, will have a lot to share in this area. You are learning about self-confidence, discipline, honor, work ethic, planning, and taking care of yourself. This is all stuff that you can share with a girl to teach her how to benefit herself. Instruct her on how to be the women she wants to be. How to be her best self. A pimp will teach a Ho how to be the best Ho she can be…. Errrr.. “best”. How to get that money, work the track, outshine all the other girls, and make all the guys want her. He teaches her how to get everything she wants, and in turn she is thankful to big daddy for teaching her how to roll and handle herself. You can give a girl guidance, and guidance is priceless.
In order to know what to give her guidance on, you have to ask the right questions and listen deeply. Questions are powerful tools. They allow you to know what your girl is happy about, sad about, or wants to change in her life. Ask the right questions and you will find the material you need to help guide her in the direction she wants to go. You don’t need to know the answers to everything she wants to do in her life, just find the resources to guide her to. If your girl wants to get in shape, take her to the gym and show her some exercise to target her abs. If she wants to go for her driving license, take her to a empty parking lot and teach her to drive manual. Things like that are easy to do, and bring out your leadership qualities.
Rule #3 Standards and boundaries show her that you like her but could do without her.
This goes with the mindset of WANTing a girl, but not NEEDing a girl. That fine line of desire and filling an empty hole in yourself. As for yourself, do you want her because she turns you on, or do you want her because of what it will mean about you if you “get a girl like that”? Look at yourself and where your desire for her is coming from. In order to get the girl, you have to not behave like you need her. Having her or not having her can’t change your emotions and happiness with life. Not because the girl is so easily replaceable, but because you are happy with yourself. Every girl is a step in the direction of your journey of becoming who you want to become. Every girl is a teacher and a tester of your developing manhood.
When you’re developing your standards and manhood, women will test you. I think it was Frank Kermit who said that everything a girl out of her mouth is a test. I like that understanding. It doesn’t mean to freak out and think that when she asks you to help her with something it’s always a test. It just means you have to know where your personal boundaries are and where you draw the line.
Something I learnt a long time ago in my personal life is you teach people how to treat you, and people treat you exactly how you let them. When you stand up for your values, beliefs, boundaries and standards, people will treat you accordingly more often.
This also goes for when you say what you want in a woman. Saying what you want in a woman is not manipulation to get her to fall into your frame, it’s being real and honest with yourself and what makes you happy. When you tell a female what you like in a woman, she can get with the program or leave. But you never force her or become bitter when she doesn’t act how you want. But always be sure to show her that you do appreciate it when she does things that you do like.
Respond correctly when she crosses boundary lines, never respond in anger – always be calm and mature.
Lately one of my favourite TV shows has been the Dog Whisper. This Caesar Millan guy is sick. Honestly I see a lot of comparison between pickup and dog training as bad as that sounds lol. Both deal with the instinctive side of a brain. One of the things Cesar always talks about in dog training is being “calm assertive.” You discipline from a place of relaxation, and not being uptight or having hurt feelings. People are not perfect, so a girl will cross the line either when she meets you or at some point in your relationship and it’s important to respond correctly, and not out of vengeance. They say that when airplanes fly from one country to another, they are mostly off target. They have computer systems that help them to adjust their flight paths to help them reach the country they are trying to get to. A women will always be off course with you. You are two people who just met, who are getting to know each other so you don’t know how to treat each other yet. As such, what you have to do is guide her back to your standards and boundaries.