How to Own a Girl’s Soul

by Madison
Global Lifestyle Consultant & Inner Circle G.M.

Real Social Dynamics

 

This article is for the guys who are in an intermediate or advanced phase and are looking to take their retention with girls to the next level. It’s for those guys who can pick up a girl but have problems keeping her. This is taken from all the good things I’ve done, and also all the mistakes that I’ve personally learnt from. Take this information and apply it to your first real moments with a girl, when you talk to her on the phone, or before your first date. These techniques are designed to create an actual “relationship” between you and your lady friend.  In fact they can also be used with girls that you have a romantic interest in, but also girls that are just friends.  Nothing I’m talking about here is manipulative, it’s a solid foundation to base a short dating, or long term boyfriend and girlfriend relationship on.

Rule #1 – Bonnie and Clyde

Rule number 1 is all about getting a girl on your team. And creating a me and you against the world feeling about your relationship with her. This kind of relationship frame exists in lots of boyfriend and girlfriend couples. We have all seen it, where our buddy gets a girlfriend and all of a sudden he can’t relate to his old guy friends anymore. His girlfriend becomes his world. To bring a girl into your world, you have to share your hopes, dreams, goals, and fears. When something happens in your life, share it with her as an ear of comfort. Let her know how you are dealing with situations in your life. You will never run out of things to say, and it will make an empathetic connection between the two of you. You want you and her to relate to each other, not as a guy and a girl who randomly met on the street, but as two people who see each other as real human beings. Friends will be jealous.

Rule #2. Teach her how to benefit herself.

This is referring to the old saying “leave a girl better then you found her.” You, being a guy who is studying personal development, will have a lot to share in this area. You are learning about self-confidence, discipline, honor, work ethic, planning, and taking care of yourself. This is all stuff that you can share with a girl to teach her how to benefit herself. Instruct her on how to be the women she wants to be.  How to be her best self. A pimp will teach a Ho how to be the best Ho she can be…. Errrr.. “best”. How to get that money, work the track, outshine all the other girls, and make all the guys want her. He teaches her how to get everything she wants, and in turn she is thankful to big daddy for teaching her how to roll and handle herself. You can give a girl guidance, and guidance is priceless.

In order to know what to give her guidance on, you have to ask the right questions and listen deeply. Questions are powerful tools. They allow you to know what your girl is happy about, sad about, or wants to change in her life. Ask the right questions and you will find the material you need to help guide her in the direction she wants to go. You don’t need to know the answers to everything she wants to do in her life, just find the resources to guide her to. If your girl wants to get in shape, take her to the gym and show her some exercise to target her abs. If she wants to go for her driving license, take her to a empty parking lot and teach her to drive manual. Things like that are easy to do, and bring out your leadership qualities.

Rule #3 Standards and boundaries show her that you like her but could do without her.

This goes with the mindset of WANTing a girl, but not NEEDing a girl. That fine line of desire and filling an empty hole in yourself. As for yourself, do you want her because she turns you on, or do you want her because of what it will mean about you if you “get a girl like that”? Look at yourself and where your desire for her is coming from. In order to get the girl, you have to not behave like you need her. Having her or not having her can’t change your emotions and happiness with life. Not because the girl is so easily replaceable, but because you are happy with yourself. Every girl is a step in the direction of your journey of becoming who you want to become. Every girl is a teacher and a tester of your developing manhood.

When you’re developing your standards and manhood, women will test you. I think it was Frank Kermit who said that everything a girl out of her mouth is a test. I like that understanding. It doesn’t mean to freak out and think that when she asks you to help her with something it’s always a test. It just means you have to know where your personal boundaries are and where you draw the line.

Something I learnt a long time ago in my personal life is you teach people how to treat you, and people treat you exactly how you let them. When you stand up for your values, beliefs, boundaries and standards, people will treat you accordingly more often.

This also goes for when you say what you want in a woman. Saying what you want in a woman is not manipulation to get her to fall into your frame, it’s being real and honest with yourself and what makes you happy. When you tell a female what you like in a woman, she can get with the program or leave. But you never force her or become bitter when she doesn’t act how you want. But always be sure to show her that you do appreciate it when she does things that you do like.

Respond correctly when she crosses boundary lines, never respond in anger – always be calm and mature.

Lately one of my favourite TV shows has been the Dog Whisper. This Caesar Millan guy is sick. Honestly I see a lot of comparison between pickup and dog training as bad as that sounds lol. Both deal with the instinctive side of a brain. One of the things Cesar always talks about in dog training is being “calm assertive.” You discipline from a place of relaxation, and not being uptight or having hurt feelings. People are not perfect, so a girl will cross the line either when she meets you or at some point in your relationship and it’s important to respond correctly, and not out of vengeance. They say that when airplanes fly from one country to another, they are mostly off target. They have computer systems that help them to adjust their flight paths to help them reach the country they are trying to get to. A women will always be off course with you. You are two people who just met, who are getting to know each other so you don’t know how to treat each other yet.  As such, what you have to do is guide her back to your standards and boundaries.

 

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Game – the incredible Onion by TheMack

I was out slutting around with Cliff and OliverKing at Koko lounge. The venue was kind of empty  and so I was talking to the staff for fun, running back and forth between a bachelor party and a bachelorette party across the room because, hey – why not? It was then that I saw her.

She was standing by the bar with her girlfriend. Her tight black dress revealed a multitude of curves I was eager to explore. Her blonde hair, blue eyes and stunning smile made my heart melt. I truly am a lover of women and blondes, unfortunately, are my greatest weakness.

I walk up to her with my usual I-own-the-world-smile, put my hand out and tell her I want to meet her. She looks at me and asks why? I look her in the eye and say “Because from the moment I saw you, I couldn’t take my eyes off you”.

Social interactions are like an onion

Those who are truly masters of their craft recognize this. There are a multitude of layers that need to be shed before a true connection can occur. Most people picture the process of a pickup as a type of race. You start at zero and work your way up from there. In fact, it is the opposite. You start at a specific point, and slowly shed away layers until you reach a connection.

She looks at me

…and reacts a little coldly. She brushes me off and slightly turns her back to me, but not completely. It’s moments like these that I live for. I ask her why she’s being shy, and she tells me she has a boyfriend. I tell her he’s boring and she shouldn’t be so quick to dismiss people, then turn to her friend and introduce myself. We begin to speak Spanish and my blondy is listening attentively. I turn back to her and snap a couple teases her way. She turns towards me a little more. This is all part of the game, this is all a dance. It takes two to tango.

The Onion

You begin with a projected image. She is that hot but bitchy girl at the bar, you are that guy in the suit several size too big. You exchange names and converse. Slowly, those projected identities begin to disintegrate and she then becomes the nurse at the hospital not too far from your place, and you are now the funny yet charming business student. More layers shed and she is now that dorky girl who has a passion for photography yet sucks at it, and you are the guy that wanted to be a rock star but can’t play the guitar to save his life. A couple drinks later and you’re sitting down together on that couch in the corner of the lounge and she is now a person, sweet, caring, vulnerable and shy. You are a man, attractive, assertive and strong.

I keep talking

But this time, I direct a question or two at the blonde and she begins to answer them with more and more enthusiasm. She starts to ask me questions, throw teases my way and punching my arm playfully. The three of us were having a really great time together. Her friend turns to get a drink and the blonde comes up close to me and says “I’ve never met anyone so… unafraid… dominant… assertive. Most guys would’ve just left.”  I nod in an understanding way and tell her that I am not like most men. I don’t have time for bullshit. We talked a little bit more and found out that she is an amazing person. I had to go and she grabbed my arm and said “I cant give you my number, but put yours in my friend’s phone and I’ll call you if anything comes up.”

Allow her to unravel

Most guys don’t understand that. They don’t see the dance, they only see adversity. They don’t see the beauty in the interactions, only the value they are trying to take from her. So when they hit a wall, they turn tail and run. A man recognizes the illusion and plays his part in the dance.

You take her hand

…and walk away from the couch together. You head into a taxi and go straight to your place. You are no longer students, nurses, artists or musicians. You connected on a primal level. Nothing else exists as the animals in both of you finally reared their heads and there is nothing left to peel away. There is just you, and her. The real you. The real her. Bliss.

Love and lots of it
Mack

Promo: The Centered Man Project is a community of men dedicated to the art of self-development. A community of romantics, who see life as a beautiful adventure and wish to share that beauty with the world. A strong emphasis is put on masculinity, self-reliance. authenticity, and renunciation. Visit them at www.centeredmanproject.com

Claude

Probably the first “natural” seducer I met was “Claude.” Claude lived (probably still lives) a life out of a porno movie. While my experience with him ultimately turned bad, I think more good for me came out of it overall than anything else. I credit Claude with waking me up, making me lose my naivete at a crucial time in my life. I met him at a hamburger joint where cars park all around the big circular structure and either go and stand in line waiting to be served or waitresses on roller blades (this is way before in-line skating) would come to your car and serve you. Claude was dynamic, original, funny, etc. Being with him and just watching television was like being at a party. He was always joking around, prodding you to do things and coming up with stuff to do. But he is a psychopath. He is one of the only two people I have met in my life who literally live from minute to minute. Both of these people don’t keep food in their fridges; Claude would go to a supermarket pretty much for every meal (or a restaurant or whatever; but there was no long term planning in his life). He lived off what he could make scamming or off women (he had at least one woman I knew of — the separated wife of a guy he knew socially — who he would go over to her house — actually the guy’s house that he would lose in the divorce — and do the wife; while there wasn’t a direct charge for his services, she would ask him if he needed money and he would always get $60, $100, etc. from her — actually the guy’s money too. This was a lot of money 20 years ago). One of the things that (I felt) appealed to women was that when he approached them he was more interested in what he could get out of them materially rather than sexually, and I was sure that they picked up on this fact and that made him different from other guys. Not that they picked up on his wanting to get something from them, but that he was not primarily motivated by sex. He was a sexual maniac; once he picked up this super hot babe, took her to his place, and in the space of two hours came 12 times with her. He says he was starting number 13 when I rang the doorbell. While I found this hard to believe, I did become friendly with his most serious girlfriend at the time and she told me he was amazing, how he never got tired.

Claude’s sense of humour was one of his biggest assets in getting women. He was totally confident of his abilities also. I once asked him if he felt that he could always go home with someone when he went to a bar and he told me that he just knew that he could. I have seen him do and get away with things that I never would have believed if someone would tell me. He got a big charge out of getting away with things; he couldn’t believe that people would let him do the things he would do. And did he get women. They warmed up to him very quickly and he took full advantage. I didn’t know how he did some of the things he did even though I was there when they happened. For example, we were driving down the street and there’s this very, very hot blond walking to her apartment building holding two bags of groceries. I can still hear him leaning out of the passenger side of my car, calling her “Miiiiiiiiiiiisss, oh Miiiiiiiiisssss!!” and pretending to ask for directions. Within the space of about 45 seconds she invited him to come up and visit her! I used to think that he was probably so much better looking than I was but I now think that it was his personality.

He was a Jekyll and Hyde, though. He could be absolutely ruthless. We met these two young ladies one day, picked them up in my car. Claude, myself, the two women and another friend of Claude’s (male) (so we are three guys and two women) and we drove them out to this disco about 45 minutes from where they lived. Well, Claude tried to see if they wanted to have sex (they were interested in him but weren’t going to be that easy), if they wanted to go to get something to eat, if they wanted to go get something to drink, etc. Essentially the answer to everything was no. So Claude gets myself and the other guy to lose them in the club and gets us out of the disco (and I am not proud of this to this day) and we leave them there. He said to me, “Hey, they didn’t want to have sex, they didn’t want to eat or drink, so they were completely useless” and he couldn’t care less. Another time we are walking downtown behind three women. While they weren’t really fat, they could have lost 15-20 pounds each but they were attractive. So we are walking behind them and he starts singing “Three Little Pigs”! What was absolutely amazing was they turned around and started to try to tell him off, but it was clear that they were so turned on that they could barely tell him anything! I used to watch these episodes in amazement. Another time we went to a gym. He stands, arms folded, legs crossed and leaning against the wall near the exit to the ladies changing room. This really cute girl comes out and he stares right at her crotch as she walks out. Instead of getting upset, she’s beaming!

We went to California together. We hook up with Johnny, a really sleazy friend of his from Montreal who is living with this very good looking young lady who apparently was supporting him. She in turn was being supported by three “boyfriends”, older guys who gave her cars, money, jewelry, etc. for her attentions and affections. She lived in this gorgeous apartment in Redondo Beach with a picture window overlooking the ocean. A few nights after we arrived, we are out with Johnny and her and Johnny and her get into a fight. Well, I still don’t know why she said this, but she goes, “Well, I’m leaving!”, turns to Claude and says “what about you?” He turns to Johnny and says, “Sorry, man, I’m going with her!” Here she hasn’t talked to him probably yet for ten minutes and she threw out the guy she was living with for him. As I was staying in L.A. I stayed in the apartment with Claude and her a couple of times, so this is a first hand account.

He had a unique style that just appealed to women’s imagination. I remember he called up this really gorgeous girl that we had met probably a year earlier. He hadn’t called her in all that time. He gets her on the phone and starts telling her that he has this new car and wouldn’t she like to be driving in it with him, with everyone looking at them because they would both be so good looking together. She eats it up and is ready and willing to see him.

He had interesting techniques in bars. He was always nonchalant in bars, as if nothing was planned. I have seen him squeeze between a guy and a girl who were talking at the bar in a crowded place apparently to order a drink from the bartender. But then he would turn to face the girl, cutting off the guy and start talking to her! He used to like doing magic tricks in bars and met tons of women doing card tricks and small coin stunts. I have seen him take home two women at once more than once, and he once told me that he usually is able to hook up with two women once every month or two (these being new recruits, not repeats).

He could not hold a job for long, although he did do stints in shoe stores, clothing stores, etc. When asked what he did, one reply was that he had his own business. “What is that?” he’d be asked. “None of yours!” was his answer. Or he would tell them that he was retired.

He would change his wardrobe each season; usually by going into a clothing store, seducing the woman who worked there and she would tell him when to come back when she was alone watching the store. She would give him an empty bag, he would take what he liked into the changing room and leave with a full bag.

I used to hear or see some of this stuff (I made it clear to him that I didn’t like that, that he was smarter than that and that I wanted nothing to do with this type of behaviour so usually he didn’t do this in front of me) and think he wouldn’t do it to me. Famous last words, as he ended up stealing from me and that’s how we stopped being friends.

When he pulled that stunt on me, I pretty much fell into a depression for about a year but came out of it stronger and much wiser for the experience. I saw after that he had a pattern of latching onto guys who were not as socially adept as he was who had things he wanted or could use and he just kept doing what he was doing.

Last I heard he was in Boca Raton, married to some woman and desperately waiting for the two year waiting period to be over so he could get his Green Card.

I know that there is a lot that I had seen and learned from him, and if I can remember more that is worth mentioning I will write about.

As always, your comments are appreciated.